College Life for Daniels Scholars: Living on Campus


Benefits to residence hall living Choosing a residence hall Living off campus Living with roommates • Choosing a roommate • Being a good roommate • Resolving conflicts Keeping quiet Eating well and staying healthy • Meal plans • Sleeping and exercising • Getting sick Staying safe Honoring an honor code

Living with roommates

A universal challenge of college life is living with roommates—especially if you’ve always had your own room. Whether you live with your best friend, an acquaintance, or a total stranger, you can’t overestimate the power of people to get on each other’s nerves, especially when spending a lot of time together in a small space. Choosing a roommate carefully, being a good roommate, and learning to resolve conflicts will all make living in a dorm more pleasant.

Choosing a roommate
If you know someone who is attending the same college, and you both list each other on the roommate request form, the college may honor your request. This gives you the benefit of a built-in friend, as long as you don’t use the situation as a crutch to avoid meeting new people. And you won’t find anyone who recommends that you choose to live with a close friend—if you want to keep that friend close. No matter what you see on TV, close friends who live together put their friendship at risk.

What happens when you don’t know anyone who is attending the same college? Generally, the housing department will send you a list of questions such as: Are you a morning person or a night person? Are you neat or are you messy? What kind of music do you listen to? Questions such as these are asked to help match students with others who have similar habits. The idea is that students with similar interests and habits will be compatible.

Often, the college will give you the name of your roommate and his or her contact information a few weeks before school starts.

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Being a good roommate
The key to having a good relationship with a roommate is to be a good roommate yourself. Here are some ways to be a good roommate:

1.	Contact your roommate before school starts and decide who should bring what (refrigerator, microwave, popcorn maker, etc.) so you don’t end up with two of everything on move-in day or without an item you need!
2.	Before setting up the room, determine how you want it to look so it meets everyone’s needs. For example, do you want bunk beds and who will sleep on top?
3.	Avoid making quick decisions about your roommate when you meet him or her for the first time. Keep an open mind.
4.	Once you move in, talk about cleaning. What does “clean” mean to you? Who will clean and when?
5.	Discuss visitors (including reasonable arrival and departure times).
6.	Respect your roommate. Think about the music you’re playing, the noise you’re making, the hours you’re keeping.
7.	If problems arise, and you and your roommate are unable to resolve the issue, consult with your RA so he or she can help you reach a peaceful resolution.

Consideration, communication, and compromise are three tools that help ensure good roommates’ relationships. Remember, your roommates don’t have to be your best friends—in fact, you may not want them to be. But you do want to enjoy being around them and avoid tension and fighting.

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Resolving conflicts
When you spend a lot of time with someone in a small space, problems are bound to arise. Noise, cleanliness, visitors, borrowing items, and more are all common sources of conflict in college. How you deal with the conflict may, in the end, preserve a friendship or at least keep the peace. If a conflict arises:

Attempt to resolve the issue with your roommate directly.

Healing Homesickness
If you miss family and friends at home, keep in touch by e-mail, phone calls, and even letters (paper, envelopes, stamps—you’ve heard of them). But don’t call home every night and don’t head home every weekend and fall back into your old social life. The best way to prevent homesickness is to stay on campus, make friends, and get involved in activities.

Explain your concerns using “I” statements such as:
• “I find it difficult to study when you have company over all of the time.”
• “I can’t move around the room or set my things down when there are clothes all over the floor.”

If the conflict can’t be resolved, get help from a neutral third party, such as your RA.

If the issue remains unresolved, contact the Residence Hall Director (a full-time college staff member who supervises the RAs and oversees residence hall programs).

Although you generally move each year, if a roommate situation cannot be resolved, one of you may need to move to a different room.

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